I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
