Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
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What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
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He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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