I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
