Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
