And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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