sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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