I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
