you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
