wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
