okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You dont lie about slip and slides
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
