she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
