is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
