Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
