is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
