Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
