nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
