I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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