my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The power of my boobs compel you
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
