i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
