This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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