I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
