what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
