I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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