I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
