It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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