You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
