So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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