my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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