Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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