Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Don't make out with my wife yet
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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