Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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