Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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