So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
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I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
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My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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