Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
