He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
