absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man