I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The air was thick with penises
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone