if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
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What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
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DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.