so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
