I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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