Banned from zoo.
Again?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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