I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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