And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize