We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
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i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
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I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I could fuck to npr.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.