He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.