some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?