CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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