you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you inspire me to be a worse person
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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