I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize