If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
