were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
