the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
