HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
