why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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