sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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