i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Randomize
