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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab

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• (347): View more from New York

  i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning

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• (214): View more from Texas

  My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.

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• (650): View more from California

  You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh

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• (716): View more from New York

  Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.

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