All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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