$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize