I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
