Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
