that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
