I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
