Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Randomize