There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
