She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
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She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
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I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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