Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize