Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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